haih

優しい言葉の雨に濡れて
傷は洗ったって傷のまま
感じることを諦めるのが
これほど難しい事だとは

Don't get deceived by the song title. That's totally the opposite of what I am experiencing now.

Anyway, BUMP is so awesome.

I'm feeling a bit blue now, but I don't really think I have the time for that. Tomorrow's German class is at 9:00am, and I can never arrive on time unless I leave the hall by 8:30am during the first few weeks of class.

I forgot to meet my advisor whom I informed that I'll meet him after my last class. I sent an apology letter after recalling about this event after dinner, and it made me feel really bad. I tend to get upset when I did something which is absolutely against my own policy. I always think that one should keep his/her promise all the time. And ironically I disappoint myself all the time.

I attended my first Technical Communication class today. Putting the title aside, it's just another English Language course. I am a shy person and therefore can never be the first person to speak out. I tend to need someone to give me a little push before carrying any actions which, IMO requires that bit of courage. In a 18-person class I answer the lecturer's question with a voice can only be heard by myself (surprisingly it can be heard sometimes, hooray!), and I sometimes hate this side of myself, the shy self which can never be separated from my personality. There are always smart people in the class, and they are the ones who shone during the Q&A session. I should try harder next time.

I wonder how can really close relationships become distanced. I wonder how easily bonds get weakened. I doubted myself, I thought I am the one who's wrong, but at the same time I realized I wasn't wrong. My devilish side told me that it is never wrong to doubt people. No one is perfect, and people can be wrong. You weren't right nor wrong all the time. I believe in imperfection but I pursue perfection. I don't know what am I feeling. I think it's something called dilemma. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Sometimes, you know you have to let someone to do something which you think it might (or might not) hurt them in the future. The risk has an unknown size, one can gain a lot or lose terribly in this gamble. But this is life. People fell, get hurt and get back up, then only they'll grow.
It's time to let go.

try harder Winnie, try.

haih.
good night.